What Our Children Need

A few days ago, I ran across this statement:

“A child is not likely to find a Father in God unless he finds something of God in his father.”

As I look around these days at children, I have a real concern for them. Not only for their well-being, but for the exposure they have to things, events, and situations that are shaping and conditioning them as they grow into adulthood.

The world is in a state of constant change. And all of it is not good change. Not change for the better. Often, it is change that is harmful to our children.

So, why am I talking about children when today is Father’s Day?

It is very simple --- children today are growing up and living in a world that is changing every day. But even though the world is changing, the needs of children today are still the same as they were for my parents and your parents, and those who are newly becoming parents.

Children today are growing up and live in a world that literally changes every day.

Advances in technology – it is difficult to keep up with what the latest discovery is, what the latest gadget is to make our lives more productive.

Everything is computerized. And then there is this Artificial Intelligence. I don’t know about you, but I get a little unsettled with that concept.

Social media --- if you have a computer or a cell phone, social media is likely to consume a good portion of your day – and night.

It is so accessible. So handy. So ready to draw us in with the urge to communicate with friends, acquaintances, or even people we don’t know.

According to one Gallup Poll, teenagers spend an average of 4.8 hours a day on social media – Facebook, etc.

Now, I am not here to bash social media, cell phone, and computer usage. I am on those way more than I should be sometimes.

Text messages and email are ways I communicate more often because I have difficulty hearing voices on the phone. I hear sounds but I cannot distinguish words.

Now, I have said all that to say this: I said a few moments ago:

But even though the world Is changing - the needs of children today are still the same as they were for my parents and your parents, and those newly becoming parents.

So, on this Father’s Day, we need to encourage the fathers of children to fulfill the needs of their children.

1.  Our Children Need Love

What is the most basic need of every person? Love is vital from the time of even prior to our birth to the day of our death.

Children who grow up without that basic need of love usually exhibit negative impacts – such as being selfish, they may be easily offended, and they may lack empathy for others.

Children need to know that God, their Creator, loves them.

They also need to know that they have the love of their mothers and fathers.

Psalm 103:13 –

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”

How do fathers demonstrate their love for their children?

One way they do that is by saying “I love you,” to his children.

I read that Asian fathers rarely, if ever, say “I love you to their children or even their spouses.

(My personal experience with my Dad)

A father expresses his love for his children by providing the family’s needs.

Paul says in 1 Timothy 5:8:

“If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

A loving father is a responsible father. A father who loves his children will be willing to work to meet the needs of his family.

A father expresses his love for his family by spending time with them.

According to the Pew Research Center, American mothers spend about twice as much time with their children as fathers do.

In 2011, the average children’s time was 7.3 hours per week for fathers and 13.5 hours per week for mothers.

Fathers sometimes are busy with jobs, hobbies, and, yes, even with ministry.

A good father provides has to work to provide his family with financial needs. But his family also needs his love and care. His children need that time and attention that the father will spend with them – when they are the center of his attention.

II. Children need Teaching and Instruction – Guidance

Deuteronomy 4:9-10 –

“Only be careful and watch closely so that you do not forget the thing your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before Me to hear My words so that they may learn to revere Me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

So, fathers have the charge directly from God to teach their children to know God and His principles.

If the father does not teach his children to know God and His principles – someone else will. That someone very often is not a positive source. Hollywood, social media, their friends, and even schoolteachers can influence children with secular ideas.

The best way for parents to help their children to grow and be successful in their lives is to spend time with them.

Spending time with them to teach them about God, their need for salvation in Jesus Christ, virtue and morals that are pure.

Teaching children in all these areas of life will shape their character – they will influence who they become as adults.

 Deuteronomy 6:4-7

“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

At the same time, children must listen to their fathers.

Proverbs 3:1-2 tells us:

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.”

And Proverbs 4:1 says:

Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.”

3. Our Children Need Discipline

Proverbs 13:24 tells us:

“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”

Proverbs 22:15 says:

“Folly (or foolishness) is bound up in a heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

There is a difference between discipline and punishment.

Punishment is based on upholding law and justice.

Discipline is based on upholding the rules of love.

So, punishment often causes rebellion.

Discipline should result in drawing one closer to another – as in a child and a parent.

Punishment is often spoken with anger and harshness.

Discipline is best spoken with kindness and love.

Punishment produces a bitter fruit.

Discipline produces the fruit of acting in the right way – that is - righteousness.

Proverbs 3:11-12

My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord Or loathe His reproof, For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

--- This instruction tells us that we have the responsibility to discipline our children because we love them.

It is difficult for children to understand that they should be thankful if their father disciplines them. Why? Because it shows how he loves and cares for them.

I would dare say that a person who has grown up without any discipline from his or her father is most likely to be the rebellious child.

Someone asked the question: “Up to what age should parents discipline their children?”

Is a teenager too old for spanking – but too young to reason with?

They are never too old to be disciplined, but the form of discipline needs to be adjusted to the child’s age.

For children today – Thank God if you had a father who loved you enough to take the time to discipline you.

OUR CHILDREN NEED A GODLY EXAMPLE

Paul tells the Corinthian church: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”

This should be the teaching of Godly fathers – “Follow the example of Christ”.

Notice that Paul didn’t say: “Do everything I say”, but he said: “Do everything I do - as I follow the example of Christ.

As we, most of us here have raised our children – or are still raising them – we are not perfect. We sometimes make mistakes. But we must be careful that we practice what we preach.

We must be careful to practice what we preach.

You may have heard the story of a father who, one Sunday morning, told his child, “You better get ready. The bus will be here in a minute to pick you up to take you to Sunday School.” The boy asked his Dad: “Did you go to Sunday School when you were a boy?” The dad said, “Yes, I did.” What the boy said then is sad and very telling. The boy said to his dad: “It probably won’t do me any good either.”

The lesson there? Be very careful of the example your child sees in you.

And then, our children need protection.

God expects fathers to protect their children from danger and hardships.

A Godly father is expected to protect his children from making wrong decisions – from associating with those who would be a negative influence over his child – even to dating or marrying the wrong person.

A responsible father protects his children from harmful or dangerous things and situations.

There is an abundant number of situations a child can be lured into – especially in the times we live in today. Such as social media (there is good and bad – can be abused); addition to video games, drugs, pornography, the attraction of LGBTQ lifestyles, Satanic influences and, sadly – the influence of liberal and secular teachers in the public-school systems.

Those of us today who are fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers have a massive responsibility – and a great opportunity to make a huge difference in the lives of these precious lives God has placed in our care.

I want to share with you – not as a point of bragging – but as an example of what I see my role as a great grandfather is:

As I was writing this sermon, my great granddaughter, Kynleigh, was at my home, as she often is while her parents’ work. She is 9 years old. She has these huge stuffed animals – I think they are actually called “Stuffies”. She wanted me to play catch with these animals. I turned my chair around – away from my desk – and we played pitch and catch for a while – then she found a jigsaw puzzle – and we put the puzzle together – together.

That was a really small thing. But that kind of interaction I believe is something she will remember as she grows up.

The small things we can take the time to do make the biggest difference in the lives of the children and grandchildren God has blessed us with.